Friday, September 16, 2011

Worth It??

It was 3:45pm. Sierra had just woken up from her nap. I had a decision to make; throw her into the car with my other fussy girls to get some cheese for homemade pizza, or relax and find something in the freezer to make. I was feeling brave, so I opted to head to the grocery store. My brevity didn't last long...

From the moment I tried to put Sierra in her car seat, she screamed and fought me. She wanted to sit in a "big girl seat." We arrived at the grocery store, only to have the older 2 join in on the screaming and crying. "I want to unbuckle Sierra." "No I want to unbuckle her!" Oh boy -- do I turn right around and drive home or brave it. Suddenly, I felt brave again... I yelled at the girls, (so not proud of how I handled it), and we headed in.

Once again, Sierra begins a round of screaming. She doesn't want to sit in the fun car; she doesn't want to push her own cart; and, she does NOT want to sit in my cart. What to do... I pick-up a screaming girl who is flailing on the floor, and force her into the cart until she is buckled and "safe." I calmly proceed with my shopping while she continues to scream, and my other two ram each other with their little carts and add to the screaming and crying.

Stares... I get LOTS of stares... A few smiles... a few scorns... and a few comments. "Oh, our grandson screams just like that! They would be a great match for each other!"

I wish I could say things got better. They actually did... briefly. Sierra finally gave-up screaming. I had to take a cart away from one of the big girls to promote peace. We almost left the store with everything except the mozzarella we came for, so I actually had to go back in, get the mozzarella, and wait in line once again. All the while I questioned myself; Is this really worth it?

It's a question I ask a lot as a mom. The girls had an art project earlier in the day. I made an extra set of paints for Sierra, who only lasted 5 minutes and then was done...

Was it worth it? The answer is yes. Yes, it was worth it to make the extra set of paints. Though it was only 5 minutes, they were a fun 5 minutes that gave Sierra satisfaction so that she was able to move on and play by herself for a little while, knowing we were still painting.

And, the grocery store? Well, yes. It was worth it, as well. And, not just because I was dying to try my feta-stuffed olives on pizza... Not because we had a dinner the girls enjoyed without complaint... and, not even because we got our grocery shopping out of the way!

The thing that made our trip "worth it" was the conversation we had at dinner, that continued on to our before bedtime routine. I once read that the person who asks the questions is the one who is in charge. Jesus asked questions often, and he was definitely "in charge," (though the pharisees didn't think so!) I aasked my girls several questions at dinner. They drew their own conclusion about how our shopping trip went, and how it should go in the future.

Our latter conversation got deeper and deeper, and I went to bed with such a big smile. They were thinking... learning to process and ponder the ways of God. I'm embarrassed to say I don't remember all the details. I just remember feeling so proud of them. It was definitely a growing experience for me, as well! Yes, it was worth it.


our delightful life...the story of us said...

you're an amazing mom!

Holly said...

You are such an amazing mom and inspiration! I had one of those days yesterday, except it didn't as sweetly as yours did. I went to bed feeling guilty about being crabby and frustrated. Today was wonderful and I knew we are always going to have 'those days'. It is SO worth it every day! Thank you for being so honest and encouraging to other moms!

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