Monday, March 5, 2012

Twisted, backwards...

...inside out, and one leg out! Yes, I am describing Sierra's pants. (She was so proud!) But, I am also describing how I've been feeling the last 3 days. I was in such a funk! I am so happy to be typing "was," because I feel the fog is lifting.

I believe the main culprit has been fatigue. My Sierra has not only given up napping at the tender age of 2 yrs. 4 mos., but she has also decided that sleeping through the night and sleeping-in are no longer for her, either. I've been through this once before; my number one gave up napping at this age, as well. So did my number 2, but somehow she wasn't the bear that number 1 and number 3 are without their naps. My husband has been working a lot, and somehow I just fell into this funk!

Now, I feel I must confess something. I did not run into the arms of the One who calls me to cast my burdens unto Him (1 Peter 3:5) and come to Him for rest (Matthew 11:28-30). No, I looked to my iced coffee with heavy cream! But, it wasn't cutting it!

I did try to think of all my blessings - and I am SO blessed. I began thanking God for everything I could think of. But, I was still in my pity party! Ridiculous, I know!

I blasted my worship music, but I felt like I was constantly turning it down or off because I needed to break-up an argument, or put a baby to sleep. I tried to cry out to God, but couldn't find a time/ place to be alone, and kept getting interrupted.

Somehow, I couldn't find the humor in things. I couldn't see anything beyond the immediate situation. All I wanted was to be alone. I was just plain self-focused!

Finally, today I opened my windows to let the fragrance of the jasmine permeate my house. And, this is what I believe changed my attitude; I began to pray for my friends! My, oh my! Was it really that simple all along? I absolutely needed something -- anything to get my focus off myself! From there I began to pray for my kids, which again, caused my heart to melt for them.

I am still tired. T-I-R-E-D! So is the sweetie in the swing. I think she began rubbing her eyes the moment she woke-up, and continued to do so until bed time. She carried her blankie with her all day, too; a sure sign of a tired girl. We spent a lot of time in this swing today!

Tired, but at peace. My joy and love tank are being refilled as I consider this trial "pure joy." Really, it's not even a trial; it's a little funk. It's a lot of fatigue. It's a season that is passing quickly.

I am just looking at this face as I am blogging -- looking at that mop on top of her head! Looking at that smile and once again praising the Lord for my blessed life!


Holly said...

Cara! You are always such an amazing inspiration for me! I've been feeling the same way the last few weeks. . weary and run down, in a funk about some sad things going on with several friends, frustration with out-of-shape self, and just frustrated with not enough hours in the day to get it all done (play and special time with my girls, my etsy business, my job outside the home, house work, etc etc), and pretty grumpy in general. Then I read your post and I am so thankful for our life and my amazing girls. Thank you!!

Darcy said...

Funks are the WORST! We all need a Ima in a funk support group at times! :) Glad you are unfunkifying! Your little munchkins are just gorgeous!

Happy Tuesday Friend!

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